Let me ask you something real:
If no one was watching… who the hell would you be?
Not the “nice girl.”
Not the peacekeeper.
Not the woman who swallows her words to keep the room calm.
Not the peacekeeper.
Not the woman who swallows her words to keep the room calm.
The real you.
Because the truth is, most of us are exhausted. And not from life itself, but from performing in it.
👑 My Story: Queen of People-Pleasing
Let me tell you mine. I wasn’t just a people-pleaser, I wore the damn crown. 👑
It started when I was eight. Already being told I was “too much,” “too loud,” “too desperate” just for wanting to belong. So I learned to shrink. To dim my light. To twist myself into whatever version would keep me safe and liked.
But guess what? The real me kept leaking through. I’d try to fit in, and the kids would bail. New friends, same pattern.
And here’s the kicker:
The people who liked me for me? I didn’t want them. I wanted the ones who made me feel like I had to earn my place.
Growing up in a small town didn’t help. Cliques ran deep. Gossip was the local sport. I loved the town, but some of the people? Not so much. And spoiler alert: A lot of them didn’t grow out of it.
High school was brutal. I had a few good friends, but also plenty who weren’t. And even when I was getting bullied, I kept showing up, trying to belong. The real ones stayed. Amy, you know who you are. You’ve loved me exactly as I am.
College? Same pattern, different campus. Trying to forge deep friendships while hiding half of who I was. Shoutout to Meredith, another ride-or-die who always saw me.
Even as an adult, back in my hometown, the cliques were still there. Same whispers. Same judgment. I volunteered my time, my energy—and felt invisible. It took moving out of state to finally learn:
My people would come when I was finally willing to show up as myself.
Now, my circle is small—and chosen. I keep people close who make me better. And I hope I do the same for them.
💣 The High Cost of Performing
Here’s what all that performing cost me:
- Smiling when I wanted to scream.
- Saying yes when my body was begging for a no.
- Making sure everyone else was happy so I could pretend I was too.
I thought being easy to love meant being easy to swallow.
That if I kept everyone else comfortable, I’d finally feel safe.
That if I kept everyone else comfortable, I’d finally feel safe.
But the truth?
All it did was disconnect me—from my voice, my body, and my f*cking soul.
🧠The Body Doesn’t Lie… But It Does Protect
So how do we stop performing? We stop outsourcing our truth and we get in the damn body.
Because here’s the thing:
Your body doesn’t lie, but she does protect. She’s not betraying you, she’s been guarding you. Every clench, every ache, every frozen smile is her waving a red flag:
“Hey babe, this isn’t safe. This isn’t truth. This isn’t you.”
Your body doesn’t people-please. She doesn’t perform. She reacts. She resists. She remembers. The trauma living in your body isn’t random. It’s not weakness. It’s your nervous system doing its job—keeping you safe.
- That tight throat when you try to speak your truth?
That’s the echo of being shut down. - That locked jaw in your “nice girl” smile?
That’s muscle memory from pretending you were okay. - That pit in your stomach when you swallow your no?
That’s your body remembering how it felt to be rejected.
Your body is not the problem. She’s the messenger. She’s been screaming your truth underneath your performance this whole damn time. When I finally started listening to her? Everything changed.
🔥 The Way Home: 2% at a Time
You don’t have to blow up your life to be authentic. You don’t have to burn it all down. You just need to come home—2% at a time.
Here’s how you start:
- Say one thing this week that you’ve been holding back.
- Let your laugh be messy and loud.
- Wear what feels like YOU, not what fits the room.
- Take a sacred pause before you respond—check in, not check out.
- Let your no be a full sentence. No backup plan. No softening.
Authenticity isn’t some polished persona. It’s raw. It’s wild. It’s YOU.
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Undeniably whole.
✨ Journal Prompt
If this lands for you, here’s your journal prompt for the week:
Where in my body do I still carry the fear of being too much, not enough, or not accepted?
What would it feel like to let that part of me know: “You’re safe now. You don’t have to perform anymore”?
💎 Final Truth
You don’t have to earn your place by shrinking. You don’t have to perform to be loved. You’re already worthy. Already enough. Already divine.
And the most magnetic, empowered, holy version of you? Is the one who finally lets herself be seen.
✨ Affirmation: I get to be fully me and deeply loved.
If this resonated, share it with the woman in your life who’s ready to drop the mask and come home to herself.
Until next time…
Stay embodied. Stay radiant. Stay real as f*ck.
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