There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say: My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.Now, before you spit out your coffee, let me explain.
At the time, it felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. I was hurt, angry, resentful… bitter. Pick an emotion, I had it. It was like living in an emotional charcuterie board full of rage and heartbreak.
My marriage had been miserable for years. Nothing I did was ever enough. I gave my ex-husband every piece of me, only to feel tossed aside like yesterday’s takeout. And, oh yeah, turns out he’d been seeing someone else before he even asked for a divorce. Cue the plot twist no one wanted.
Emotional Breakdowns and Really Long Moments
When I found out the truth, I lost it. And let’s keep it real, I thought I’d only had “a couple” emotional breakdowns. In hindsight, it was more like a couple really long moments. My kids saw me unravel. My mom watched me fall apart. I was screaming, crying, feeling every feeling all at once. Some days, I was barely hanging on by a thread. And you know what? I’m not ashamed to say that anymore. Because heartbreak looks like that when your entire identity has been wrapped up in trying to save a marriage that was already dead.
Inner Wounds Start So Much Earlier
But here’s the thing, it wasn’t just about my ex. My patterns went way back. My biological father (aka, the sperm donor, as my mom lovingly calls him) wasn’t around. Even my grandmother, who never spoke poorly of anyone, said he was a bad man. When I finally met him at 18? He confirmed he’s an asshole. (Points for honesty, I guess.) So naturally, I kept choosing men who treated me like crap. Men who told me I had no worth. Men who projected their own lack of value onto me. And I believed them. Because deep down, I felt like I had to prove my worth to the world.
The Endless Cycle of Proving Yourself
I tried to be everything for everyone. I twisted myself into whatever shape I thought people wanted. Family, friends, lovers… there were so few people I felt safe enough to just be me. But my divorce cracked me open. It forced me to ask the hardest questions:
- Who am I, really?
- Why was I letting people treat me like garbage?
- Why was I trying to impress people who were just projecting their pain onto me?
- What was stopping me from healing and creating the life I actually wanted?
I remember thinking: Girl… you’re in your 40s. You missed your 20s and 30s. How the hell do you start over now?
Finding My True Gifts (Spoiler: They’re Not on a Résumé)
I was a stay-at-home mom trying to rebuild my life from scratch. Who was going to hire me? Who would care about my gifts? I felt like I had so many skills, but nothing to show for it on a résumé.
But through my healing, I discovered this truth:
✨ My gifts are in helping others. Teaching. Coaching. Supporting. ✨
Especially helping other women because we’ve been silent for way too long. Through my experiences and my own messy journey of healing, I learned that I could help other women transform into the woman they’ve always wanted to be, the woman they already are, underneath all the wounds.
Feminine Power Flows Alongside Masculine Strength
We as women forget that our beautiful feminine energy can flow right alongside our masculine energy. That’s our gift: we can move through anything. We can shift, adapt, transform in ways men can’t, because we don’t carry the same generational wounds.
And yes, I’ll be ranting about that more in a future podcast.
For now, let me leave you with this:
✨ You have permission to be both masculine and feminine. To be fierce and soft. To be wild and tender. To be you. ✨
A Love I Didn’t See Coming
These days, I’m with a partner who sees me. Who listens. Who clicked with me from the very first conversation. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship, I was just honest about who I was. And he showed up ready to match that energy.
It’s Never Too Late to Choose You
So if you’re reading this thinking:
“It’s too late for me.”
“I’m too old to start over.”
“No one will love me as I am.”
“I’m too old to start over.”
“No one will love me as I am.”
Let me tell you—those are lies your wounds are whispering. You are never too old, too broken, or too far gone to create the life and love you truly want. Healing your inner wounds isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about finally choosing yourself. And you, my beautiful friend are worth choosing.
Until next time—keep flowing, keep shining, and remember:
✨ You matter. Just because you exist. ✨
P.S.
Check out my Fix Your Crown playlist on Spotify—especially “I Am Woman” by Emmy Meli. You’ll feel like you could run the world in stilettos. And if you’re craving a safe space to keep growing, join my Embodied Living Facebook group. We’re all about reclaiming your worth, your voice, and your feminine power.
See the whole episode here:
