Menopause. Perimenopause. Two words that can send women down a Google rabbit hole at 2 a.m., looking for answers that never seem to quite fit.Here’s the thing, menopause is natural. But “natural” doesn’t always mean “good.” Arsenic is natural. Certain poisonous mushrooms are natural. Hurricanes are natural. So let’s stop pretending that just because our bodies were designed to do this, the way it’s showing up for us now is the way nature intended.
I’ve been talking about this more lately, and honestly, one of the biggest gifts of this stage is the sisterhood that comes when women finally speak openly about it. I was recently chatting with another woman and my man, and somehow, we went deep into menopause frustrations. He just sat there listening, really taking it in. Later, in the car, he said, “I’m so glad you have women you can talk to about this. I know how annoyed you are with what’s happening to you.” That kind of support? Priceless.
Menopause vs Perimenopause: Clearing the Confusion
Here’s a little clarity:
- Menopause is one day — the day you’ve gone 12 months without a period. The next day, you’re technically postmenopausal.
- Perimenopause is the hormonal rollercoaster leading up to that point. It can last 4–10 years and comes with most of the symptoms people blame on “menopause.”
This confusion has left generations of women blindsided. They thought they were “too young” for menopause when they were actually deep in perimenopause.
Why It Feels Worse Now
Women have always gone through menopause — so why do the symptoms feel like they’ve been cranked up to Mordor-level lately?
- Chronic stress from our always-on lifestyle
- Environmental toxins that mess with our hormones
- Lower nutrient density in modern diets
- Altered hormone history from long-term birth control and later motherhood
- Medical neglect - we still get handed antidepressants or birth control instead of real hormonal care
We also live in a world where youth is valued over wisdom, and productivity over presence. In past generations, menopause was a respected rite of passage. Now, we’re expected to work full throttle while our bodies are screaming for rest.
The Symptoms No One Warned Us About
Hot flashes that make you feel like you’re melting in public. Night sweats that soak the sheets.
Sleep disturbances that turn you into a zombie.
Brain fog so thick you forget your own point mid-sentence. (My man now speaks fluent brain fog, decoding my hand gestures and half-sentences when the words won’t come.)
Weight gain that happens seemingly overnight. I went from 145 pounds to 170 in just three months, eating and exercising exactly the same way. And joint pain? I crack like a bowl of Rice Krispies every morning before coffee.
It’s Time to Rethink “Normal”
One of my biggest frustrations is how the medical system defines “normal” hormone ranges. My normal might be your chaos. When I was a teen, my periods were easy. My friend missed school every month from pain. We were both “normal” on paper.
We should be testing hormones from the first period to establish a personal baseline. Then, when things start to shift, we can catch changes early instead of waiting until symptoms are unbearable.
Reframing the Transition
Menopause and perimenopause are not the end. They’re a transition into a phase of life where you get to live unapologetically in your wisdom and power.
Yes, we may be struggling. But we can also embody this change as a gift — freedom from cycles that once dictated our lives, freedom to choose what works for our bodies now, and freedom to speak our truth without apology.
This isn’t the slow fade into invisibility. It’s the start of a powerful, unapologetic new chapter.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. You can DM me on Instagram or join the conversation in the Embodied Living FB Group. Because when we share our truths, we take away the power of silence for ourselves, and for every woman who comes after us.
Watch Episode 8 of Embodied Living below.
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Or maybe believed femininity was about having the right outfits, flawless makeup, and perfect hair?
Yeah… I did too. For years, that was my definition of femininity: an image. A performance.
Yeah… I did too. For years, that was my definition of femininity: an image. A performance.
Meanwhile, underneath all that? I was living in my masculine energy 24/7 - task-oriented, structured, in control of everything because honestly, that felt safe. And let’s be real, the world rewards it. Hustle hard, achieve more, do more. Sound familiar?
But here’s the truth: Feminine energy isn’t about what you wear. It’s not about perfection. It’s an energy. A way of being. And most of us? We’ve been taught to suppress it, twist it, or hide it altogether.
In this episode, I’m getting raw and real about what it means to reclaim your feminine essence and why so many of us have lost touch with it.
Why Feminine Energy Has Been Suppressed
We live in one of the most masculine-driven cultures in the world. The U.S. thrives on competition, achievement, and independence. It glorifies hustle. It worships productivity. And in that world? Feminine energy gets labeled as weak, emotional, or worse, dangerous.
We’ve been told:
❌ Cover up, because men can’t control themselves.
❌ Don’t be too emotional, or you’re unstable.
❌ If you want success, you better hustle like hell.
Meanwhile, emotional intelligence, the very thing they mocked us for, is now the #1 leadership skill companies are desperate to teach. Let that sink in.
Your femininity is not a liability. Your feelings are not a flaw. Your body is not an invitation for someone else’s lack of self-control.
My Story: Masculine-Masked with Cuteness
For years, I thought femininity was an accessory to my hustle. I believed I had to overplay my masculine traits; organization, control, time management, to be respected in business. And then? I sprinkled on lipstick, cute outfits, and perfectly styled hair to look feminine enough.
I didn’t realize then that I was disconnected from the real power of my feminine energy. I thought it was something external. I was wrong.
What I’ve learned? I don’t have to choose. I get to integrate both. My masculine gives me structure. My feminine gives me creativity, intuition, and flow. Together? That’s where the magic is.
The Awakening
In 2008, everything changed. I went on a women’s retreat in Costa Rica (side note: go if you ever get the chance). For the first time, I experienced feminine energy as safe. Women hugged me without judgment. They supported me without an agenda.
I left with a hunger to understand masculine and feminine energy. I studied David Deida. I dove into Alison Armstrong’s work. And here’s what I discovered: feminine energy isn’t weakness. It’s power. Not loud, not forceful—but magnetic, life-giving, and deeply wise.
How to Start Reclaiming Your Feminine Essence
This isn’t about rejecting your masculine side. It’s about harmony. When you integrate both, doubt dissolves. Confidence rises. Here’s how you start:
✨ Slow down. The feminine can’t thrive in a rush.
✨ Drop into your body. Put on music, breathe, move your hips.
✨ Feel before you act. Ask: “What would feel nourishing right now?”
✨ Add pleasure to your day. Light a candle, savor your coffee, touch your skin with love.
The feminine doesn’t need to prove. She knows. And when she knows, the doubt fades.
See the whole episode here:
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