Or maybe believed femininity was about having the right outfits, flawless makeup, and perfect hair?
Yeah… I did too. For years, that was my definition of femininity: an image. A performance.
Yeah… I did too. For years, that was my definition of femininity: an image. A performance.
Meanwhile, underneath all that? I was living in my masculine energy 24/7 - task-oriented, structured, in control of everything because honestly, that felt safe. And let’s be real, the world rewards it. Hustle hard, achieve more, do more. Sound familiar?
But here’s the truth: Feminine energy isn’t about what you wear. It’s not about perfection. It’s an energy. A way of being. And most of us? We’ve been taught to suppress it, twist it, or hide it altogether.
In this episode, I’m getting raw and real about what it means to reclaim your feminine essence and why so many of us have lost touch with it.
Why Feminine Energy Has Been Suppressed
We live in one of the most masculine-driven cultures in the world. The U.S. thrives on competition, achievement, and independence. It glorifies hustle. It worships productivity. And in that world? Feminine energy gets labeled as weak, emotional, or worse, dangerous.
We’ve been told:
❌ Cover up, because men can’t control themselves.
❌ Don’t be too emotional, or you’re unstable.
❌ If you want success, you better hustle like hell.
Meanwhile, emotional intelligence, the very thing they mocked us for, is now the #1 leadership skill companies are desperate to teach. Let that sink in.
Your femininity is not a liability. Your feelings are not a flaw. Your body is not an invitation for someone else’s lack of self-control.
My Story: Masculine-Masked with Cuteness
For years, I thought femininity was an accessory to my hustle. I believed I had to overplay my masculine traits; organization, control, time management, to be respected in business. And then? I sprinkled on lipstick, cute outfits, and perfectly styled hair to look feminine enough.
I didn’t realize then that I was disconnected from the real power of my feminine energy. I thought it was something external. I was wrong.
What I’ve learned? I don’t have to choose. I get to integrate both. My masculine gives me structure. My feminine gives me creativity, intuition, and flow. Together? That’s where the magic is.
The Awakening
In 2008, everything changed. I went on a women’s retreat in Costa Rica (side note: go if you ever get the chance). For the first time, I experienced feminine energy as safe. Women hugged me without judgment. They supported me without an agenda.
I left with a hunger to understand masculine and feminine energy. I studied David Deida. I dove into Alison Armstrong’s work. And here’s what I discovered: feminine energy isn’t weakness. It’s power. Not loud, not forceful—but magnetic, life-giving, and deeply wise.
How to Start Reclaiming Your Feminine Essence
This isn’t about rejecting your masculine side. It’s about harmony. When you integrate both, doubt dissolves. Confidence rises. Here’s how you start:
✨ Slow down. The feminine can’t thrive in a rush.
✨ Drop into your body. Put on music, breathe, move your hips.
✨ Feel before you act. Ask: “What would feel nourishing right now?”
✨ Add pleasure to your day. Light a candle, savor your coffee, touch your skin with love.
The feminine doesn’t need to prove. She knows. And when she knows, the doubt fades.
See the whole episode here:
I stayed in a marriage for 20 years. Not because it was fulfilling. Not because I was happy. But because I thought if I just gave enough, loved enough, dimmed myself just enough… He’d finally see me. He didn’t.And when he asked for the divorce, I was devastated until I realized it was the gift I never would have given myself. After the divorce, my youngest daughter found out what I had only suspected deep down. He’d been having an affair long before he ended things. And in that moment, all the pain I had swallowed for decades rose like lava.
The betrayal. The devastation. The rage.
But here’s the thing about anger: It’s not the real wound. It’s the shield. Underneath it? Heartbreak. Abandonment. Shame.
I Trusted Him More Than I Trusted Myself
The signs were there. But I ignored them. I chose to trust him. I wanted to trust him. And I know now I didn’t just betray myself in that marriage. I had been betraying myself for years. Trying to be the “good woman.” The helper. The one who makes everything easier. I was running his business, raising our kids, holding the entire emotional structure together—and somehow still believed I wasn’t doing enough.
I Blamed Him for My Lack of Confidence... Until I Couldn’t
When I started healing, I was so angry. How could he treat me like I had no value? He told me that. Literally. That I had no worth because I didn’t work outside the home. But here's what hit me like a punch to the gut: That story didn’t start with him. My lack of confidence? It had roots in childhood. In years of people pleasing, overachieving, trying to earn love and approval by being easy, helpful, quiet, good. And I had to face it.
He didn’t create that wound, he mirrored it.
This Is Bigger Than Me
When I realized just how long I’d been shrinking myself, I knew: No woman should have to live this way. No woman should feel like her value depends on her paycheck, her productivity, or her ability to self-abandon. We have been doing this for centuries. And it ends here.
The Fire Is Sacred
In this episode of Embodied Living, I speak to the sacred rage that lives inside us. The kind that says, "I’m done shrinking. I’m done being the easy one. I’m done being invisible."
We explore:
🔥 How suppressed anger erodes your confidence
🔥 Why betrayal cuts so deep—and how to heal
🔥 The connection between trust, trauma, and intuition
🔥 Somatic tools to move anger through your body
🔥 What’s really under the surface when you’re “just mad”
We are calling in Goddess Pele this month inside the Embodied Woman Collective—the fierce, fiery destroyer who clears the path for rebirth. She reminds us:
You are allowed to erupt—not to destroy, but to transform.
If You’ve Been Quietly Burning… This Episode Is For You.
Your anger isn’t too much.
Your fire isn’t wrong.
Your truth doesn’t need softening.
Your fire isn’t wrong.
Your truth doesn’t need softening.
This is your permission slip to stop holding it all in.
To stop being polite about your pain.
To stop blaming yourself for other people’s betrayals.
To stop being polite about your pain.
To stop blaming yourself for other people’s betrayals.
🎧 Tune in now:
Episode 6 – The Power I Suppressed
Because your healing doesn’t begin with silence It begins with fire.
