Menopause. Perimenopause. Two words that can send women down a Google rabbit hole at 2 a.m., looking for answers that never seem to quite fit.Here’s the thing, menopause is natural. But “natural” doesn’t always mean “good.” Arsenic is natural. Certain poisonous mushrooms are natural. Hurricanes are natural. So let’s stop pretending that just because our bodies were designed to do this, the way it’s showing up for us now is the way nature intended.
I’ve been talking about this more lately, and honestly, one of the biggest gifts of this stage is the sisterhood that comes when women finally speak openly about it. I was recently chatting with another woman and my man, and somehow, we went deep into menopause frustrations. He just sat there listening, really taking it in. Later, in the car, he said, “I’m so glad you have women you can talk to about this. I know how annoyed you are with what’s happening to you.” That kind of support? Priceless.
Menopause vs Perimenopause: Clearing the Confusion
Here’s a little clarity:
- Menopause is one day — the day you’ve gone 12 months without a period. The next day, you’re technically postmenopausal.
- Perimenopause is the hormonal rollercoaster leading up to that point. It can last 4–10 years and comes with most of the symptoms people blame on “menopause.”
This confusion has left generations of women blindsided. They thought they were “too young” for menopause when they were actually deep in perimenopause.
Why It Feels Worse Now
Women have always gone through menopause — so why do the symptoms feel like they’ve been cranked up to Mordor-level lately?
- Chronic stress from our always-on lifestyle
- Environmental toxins that mess with our hormones
- Lower nutrient density in modern diets
- Altered hormone history from long-term birth control and later motherhood
- Medical neglect - we still get handed antidepressants or birth control instead of real hormonal care
We also live in a world where youth is valued over wisdom, and productivity over presence. In past generations, menopause was a respected rite of passage. Now, we’re expected to work full throttle while our bodies are screaming for rest.
The Symptoms No One Warned Us About
Hot flashes that make you feel like you’re melting in public. Night sweats that soak the sheets.
Sleep disturbances that turn you into a zombie.
Brain fog so thick you forget your own point mid-sentence. (My man now speaks fluent brain fog, decoding my hand gestures and half-sentences when the words won’t come.)
Weight gain that happens seemingly overnight. I went from 145 pounds to 170 in just three months, eating and exercising exactly the same way. And joint pain? I crack like a bowl of Rice Krispies every morning before coffee.
It’s Time to Rethink “Normal”
One of my biggest frustrations is how the medical system defines “normal” hormone ranges. My normal might be your chaos. When I was a teen, my periods were easy. My friend missed school every month from pain. We were both “normal” on paper.
We should be testing hormones from the first period to establish a personal baseline. Then, when things start to shift, we can catch changes early instead of waiting until symptoms are unbearable.
Reframing the Transition
Menopause and perimenopause are not the end. They’re a transition into a phase of life where you get to live unapologetically in your wisdom and power.
Yes, we may be struggling. But we can also embody this change as a gift — freedom from cycles that once dictated our lives, freedom to choose what works for our bodies now, and freedom to speak our truth without apology.
This isn’t the slow fade into invisibility. It’s the start of a powerful, unapologetic new chapter.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. You can DM me on Instagram or join the conversation in the Embodied Living FB Group. Because when we share our truths, we take away the power of silence for ourselves, and for every woman who comes after us.
Watch Episode 8 of Embodied Living below.
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