The Power I Suppressed: Reclaiming the Fire Beneath the Anger - EP 6

I stayed in a marriage for 20 years. Not because it was fulfilling. Not because I was happy. But because I thought if I just gave enough, loved enough, dimmed myself just enough… He’d finally see me. He didn’t.

And when he asked for the divorce, I was devastated until I realized it was the gift I never would have given myself. After the divorce, my youngest daughter found out what I had only suspected deep down. He’d been having an affair long before he ended things. And in that moment, all the pain I had swallowed for decades rose like lava.

The betrayal. The devastation. The rage.

But here’s the thing about anger: It’s not the real wound. It’s the shield. Underneath it? Heartbreak. Abandonment. Shame.

I Trusted Him More Than I Trusted Myself

The signs were there. But I ignored them. I chose to trust him. I wanted to trust him. And I know now I didn’t just betray myself in that marriage. I had been betraying myself for years. Trying to be the “good woman.” The helper. The one who makes everything easier. I was running his business, raising our kids, holding the entire emotional structure together—and somehow still believed I wasn’t doing enough.

I Blamed Him for My Lack of Confidence... Until I Couldn’t

When I started healing, I was so angry. How could he treat me like I had no value? He told me that. Literally. That I had no worth because I didn’t work outside the home. But here's what hit me like a punch to the gut: That story didn’t start with him. My lack of confidence? It had roots in childhood. In years of people pleasing, overachieving, trying to earn love and approval by being easy, helpful, quiet, good. And I had to face it.

He didn’t create that wound, he mirrored it.

This Is Bigger Than Me

When I realized just how long I’d been shrinking myself, I knew: No woman should have to live this way. No woman should feel like her value depends on her paycheck, her productivity, or her ability to self-abandon. We have been doing this for centuries. And it ends here.

The Fire Is Sacred

In this episode of Embodied Living, I speak to the sacred rage that lives inside us. The kind that says, "I’m done shrinking. I’m done being the easy one. I’m done being invisible."

We explore:

🔥 How suppressed anger erodes your confidence
🔥 Why betrayal cuts so deep—and how to heal
🔥 The connection between trust, trauma, and intuition
🔥 Somatic tools to move anger through your body
🔥 What’s really under the surface when you’re “just mad”

We are calling in Goddess Pele this month inside the Embodied Woman Collective—the fierce, fiery destroyer who clears the path for rebirth. She reminds us:

You are allowed to erupt—not to destroy, but to transform.